Saturday, September 11, 2010

Missing Mum and Leavenworth WA

I cut my hair short, I looked in the mirror and said mom you would love my new hair do. When I got a new style hair do, I use to call her and tell her. I miss our frequent phone conversations.  My tears come to me eyes and I feel I miss my mum.

My new hair do                                                                                                                                                                                               

My husband and I went on a camping trip to Leavenworth WA. It helped my grieving mind. I have felt heavy since my mum died. After the funeral, I slept for 2 days. It was like jet lag the condition I had coming back from China.

We were going to sell our camper. My message therapist looked at the camper, but she decided not to buy the camper. The camper went to the doctor and works! Our new Tundra truck pulled the camper with no effort. The truck is so comfortable and perfect to travel in.

Our camper and Sean my husband 

The camp site located 18 miles from Leavenworth WA. Sean was a great boyscout and made a fire in the pit. We had meat cheese and roasted marshmallows. Sean made the best stick to roast marshmallows, sorry no picture.
The camp site  had brown bear warnings, but we saw no bear.

The trip in Leavenworth was fun, I found Starbucks!

Across the street from Starbucks was a rose garden

I found a gold cowgirl hat with rhinestones. I felt I was in Texas! The town has a wonderful Christmas decor store.  I bought some bubble Christmas tree lights. The kind we had in the 1960's.

My gold cow girl hat
Christmas tree
Christmas village
Christmas village
I took a picture of the sun going down behind the mountains. It was a beautiful site.

The picture did not show the true beauty of the eyes.

Vicky showing my new hat and bubble Christmas lights
We went back to camp. Fire time!

#13 ending life journey with mom

My mother had high standards for everything. I thought about how it affected me as a person.  My counselor in college told me I had a very high expectation in all avenues of my life. It was true. I learned it from my mom. When I was caring for her, I wanted and tried to do everything perfect to get her approval. It made me feel more stressed than what I already was. I stopped the perfection attitude. Oh- a sigh of relief to continue to care for mom the best I could.

My sister's daughter made the above sign for her grandmother on one of her visits to the house. "fluff your aura"
My mother took her last breath on August 21 at 7:10pm.  Three children were present, the third child called from the air port shuttle. He talked to mom on the phone, His voice was soothing to mom. She took her last full breath after I took the phone away from mom's ear. Mother's breathing stopped. My brother arrived to the home in 45 minutes. He was able to say his good byes to mom at her bedside.

My Mother died comfortable and with Jesus watching over her. God's word to her and me was, "The lord is my Shepard," psalm 23.

I touched my mom after her death. I talked to her. She was gone. Her body was present without any breath. Mom's body was beautiful to me. Her face laying on the pillow on a side view was very pretty in death. I knew her spirit had left to be in heaven with others, dad, her sister, her mother, her father, her grandparents and many others. Yes, both of my parents have died. Leaving me the oldest in my family line. My mother left on earth, 4 children (I being the oldest), 7 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren. I had 2 boys and 2 grand boys.

Mom stayed at the home until 10:30pm. The funeral home picked her up. The 4 of us started to work a plan to have a funeral on 8/25/10, my mother's birthday. The day she would be 75 years old.

The family decided to have a grave-side funeral with my mom's cremated remains.  The hospice pastor and his volunteer. The volunteer sang "How great art thou"  oh-so-so beautiful. His voice was strong and carried a sound of pure joy and peace. The flowers were magnificent.
My mother was cremated and her ashes remains were in the pink urn surrounded with her teddy bears and beautiful flowers!

From left to right, me, sister and 2 brothers.
The singer on the left and the pastor on the right
My oldest brother spoke about my mother being a wonderful mother.  She had a special way about cooking rice and no one could live up to the expectation. We lived in many places growing up for my father was in the army during the years we grew up.  My brother showed his love and cried during his sharing time. My youngest brother said mother was always there for him. He would miss her dearly. My sister decided to remain in heartfelt solitude.

My brother giving his remembrance of mom

My husband shared a story about coming to the home to have dinner at 5pm after lobbing on the hill in Olympia. He would say no to going out for dinner to eat my mother's food. My mother was a wonderful cook. My husband took the pictures. OOPS, no picture of him.

I shared a story about her cleaning my home every time she visited. I think it was because I was a single parent, worked and needed help with house cleaning and laundry.  My mother would look at the needs of her children and meet them the best way she could.  I never had any extra money to do anything for myself when raising my 2 boys. I stayed single for 25 years.  My husband and I got together in the year 2000. We married in 2005. 

We carried mom's remains to the hole.  The four of us touched the remains with words of love and goodbye. 

My two brothers and my sister and vicky (wearing the white sweater) carrying mom to the grave.
 My cousins told us about placing in the grave a rose labeled with the names for the grand and great grand children .  After placing Mom's pink container in the earth, each of her 4 kids placed roses on top of my mother. We said the hearts of her and our children our with her in heart. Our kids could not come. The cost to fly was too expensive for them.

My sister gave me my two roses

I have two sons
My sister has 2 sons and a daughter and one grand boy and one grand girl
My brother has one son and one daughter. He shared one rose with Phil. He placed the one rose was for his daughter
The other rose was for his son and Phil placed the rose by mom. He does not have any children. My brother said it was appropriate because his brother always calls him his son's name.

A reception was held at my Cousin's home. It turned out perfect! 

My cousin and her son posing at her home.

#12 ending life journey with mom

CARLISLE, UNITED KINGDOM - JULY 07:  A mourner...Image by Getty Images via @daylifeMy mother still lives. She sleeps and awakens about every 6 hours. I am fussy about her skin. I  place lotion on the skin every time she is awake and turns. Her skin is in great condition. Yea Ha!
My sister and I met with a funeral man to go over mom's funeral arrangements. Pre-planning a funeral saves you many dollars. My own insights about why I do not plan my funeral.  I  do not like to think about dying.  I'd rather think it will never happen to me.  I plan for my funeral will I die sooner, like placing a jinx on me.We are meant to die.  The timing of our death is unknown. It is so much easier on your family when things are planned out and paid for.
My sister and I got lost trying to find the plot where mother would be laid to rest with her ashes. We walked on a lot of graves. The graves feel lumpy under your feet. I hope I did not disturb the graves too much. You wonder as you walk.  Suddenly, my sister called and said I found the plot. Hurray! The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
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#9 ending life journey with mom

Age Distribution of Personal & Home Care Aides...Image by via FlickrMom came home from the nursing home after a 5 day stay.  Mom said she wanted to come home. She arrived to the house on Wednesday. My brother said mom totally relaxed when in the home. We made a  care plan to hire night time caregivers for awhile. Until, my brother could not take care of mom alone during the day.

Mom would not wake up for care on Saturday night. I think she was exhausted from worrying about the nursing home care.

I arrived to the home on Saturday 8/8/10 to care for mom, until Sunday at 6m.  Then I returned home.
Gorgeous mom bundled in a blanket
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