Saturday, September 11, 2010

#13 ending life journey with mom

My mother had high standards for everything. I thought about how it affected me as a person.  My counselor in college told me I had a very high expectation in all avenues of my life. It was true. I learned it from my mom. When I was caring for her, I wanted and tried to do everything perfect to get her approval. It made me feel more stressed than what I already was. I stopped the perfection attitude. Oh- a sigh of relief to continue to care for mom the best I could.

My sister's daughter made the above sign for her grandmother on one of her visits to the house. "fluff your aura"
My mother took her last breath on August 21 at 7:10pm.  Three children were present, the third child called from the air port shuttle. He talked to mom on the phone, His voice was soothing to mom. She took her last full breath after I took the phone away from mom's ear. Mother's breathing stopped. My brother arrived to the home in 45 minutes. He was able to say his good byes to mom at her bedside.

My Mother died comfortable and with Jesus watching over her. God's word to her and me was, "The lord is my Shepard," psalm 23.

I touched my mom after her death. I talked to her. She was gone. Her body was present without any breath. Mom's body was beautiful to me. Her face laying on the pillow on a side view was very pretty in death. I knew her spirit had left to be in heaven with others, dad, her sister, her mother, her father, her grandparents and many others. Yes, both of my parents have died. Leaving me the oldest in my family line. My mother left on earth, 4 children (I being the oldest), 7 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren. I had 2 boys and 2 grand boys.

Mom stayed at the home until 10:30pm. The funeral home picked her up. The 4 of us started to work a plan to have a funeral on 8/25/10, my mother's birthday. The day she would be 75 years old.

The family decided to have a grave-side funeral with my mom's cremated remains.  The hospice pastor and his volunteer. The volunteer sang "How great art thou"  oh-so-so beautiful. His voice was strong and carried a sound of pure joy and peace. The flowers were magnificent.
My mother was cremated and her ashes remains were in the pink urn surrounded with her teddy bears and beautiful flowers!

From left to right, me, sister and 2 brothers.
The singer on the left and the pastor on the right
My oldest brother spoke about my mother being a wonderful mother.  She had a special way about cooking rice and no one could live up to the expectation. We lived in many places growing up for my father was in the army during the years we grew up.  My brother showed his love and cried during his sharing time. My youngest brother said mother was always there for him. He would miss her dearly. My sister decided to remain in heartfelt solitude.

My brother giving his remembrance of mom

My husband shared a story about coming to the home to have dinner at 5pm after lobbing on the hill in Olympia. He would say no to going out for dinner to eat my mother's food. My mother was a wonderful cook. My husband took the pictures. OOPS, no picture of him.

I shared a story about her cleaning my home every time she visited. I think it was because I was a single parent, worked and needed help with house cleaning and laundry.  My mother would look at the needs of her children and meet them the best way she could.  I never had any extra money to do anything for myself when raising my 2 boys. I stayed single for 25 years.  My husband and I got together in the year 2000. We married in 2005. 

We carried mom's remains to the hole.  The four of us touched the remains with words of love and goodbye. 

My two brothers and my sister and vicky (wearing the white sweater) carrying mom to the grave.
 My cousins told us about placing in the grave a rose labeled with the names for the grand and great grand children .  After placing Mom's pink container in the earth, each of her 4 kids placed roses on top of my mother. We said the hearts of her and our children our with her in heart. Our kids could not come. The cost to fly was too expensive for them.

My sister gave me my two roses

I have two sons
My sister has 2 sons and a daughter and one grand boy and one grand girl
My brother has one son and one daughter. He shared one rose with Phil. He placed the one rose was for his daughter
The other rose was for his son and Phil placed the rose by mom. He does not have any children. My brother said it was appropriate because his brother always calls him his son's name.

A reception was held at my Cousin's home. It turned out perfect! 

My cousin and her son posing at her home.

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